Love Today

I went to the library today, searching for books that I can read for my exams.

While searching, I saw a particular figure. A familiar figure. My prof. I smiled and hesitated, not knowing what to say. She’s one of the best, I’m telling you.

But she saved the day by starting the conversations and asking me questions. She told me she wanted to talk to me regarding something. She marked my assignment already, and she said that I did quiet well, in fact, the best among all she said.

I was surprised. Extremely surprised that my expression was shocked and all that  I can say was, Seriously? *Alhamdulillah*

She saw my disbelieve expression. Oh well, of course I explained that I have hard times doing that assignment.Ahh, the important point was, she saw it, and she asked me whether I’m interested in taking that course as a minor.I said that well, its an interesting subject, but I’m afraid I might favours some of the topics like I did this sem. You see, I only loves certain topics and I did abandoned some. I can make myself to understand those non-favourite topic but then I do not have the will to do so. (Lazy of course). So we chatted, and she said that she’s not forcing me. Just asking. N I was like, 50-50. I can’t promise to do so and said that I’ll have to think about it.

Of course I was excited after the chat. There’s a but though. Hmmm. When I think about my assignment again, I felt like I do not own any credits. What I did was I refer to some brilliant books, then I read, and then I’ll rewrite it again using my own words or sometime I’ll just change the words a little bit. So even if I got good results for my assignment, I felt like I’m not that intelligent, I’m just lucky that I found some good materials that helped me a lot in doing my works.

And above all that, I felt insecure because according to my experiences and sayings, if you do got good results for your assignment, you’re more likely to do not so well in your final exam.Ahh, there’s logic behind it. You think that you’re already clever and knew well enough till you do not have the urge to study for finals. You got good grades for assignments, so why study? In some cases, you got excited cause you felt like you already know the subjects.

So in the end, you know it.